time, i don't believe in you.

I haven’t written in a long time, not the blog or anything else. So sparks of birth and motherhood come to me in the middle of (seemingly) other writings… but I feel those sparks are really their own story apart. So I set out to compile a list of what they don’t tell you about birth and motherhood. Or what they do tell you, but is just so damn hard to remember. 

{from our more recent stash of photos, reminders -- with a sneak peak of our book shelves, which i love}
I compiled said list and realized that they don’t tell you that stuff, because it all sounds so dreary, so heavy. And at least in western culture, there’s enough fear about giving birth already. Women are fed so much rubbish throughout our lives, we tend to doubt our strength, our bodies already.
I will say quickly that I think, aside from having someone to prepare you nutritious food (preferably someone other than hubby. hi friend food tree, you are a good idea!), the most helpful thing you can give yourself is to talk with other women who have recently given birth. I was lucky to be one of the last of my friends to have a baby, so I had lots of support in that area. But even strangers, as in a new mama group, would be wonderful (maybe even better because they are going through it right along with you and listening to others who are in it now can help you feel more normal). OK, that was another long digression I hadn’t intended to take.
Anyway, I imagined the list to glitter a little with its shimmering insights. But that didn’t happen. (Of course not, because I knew how the list would end--what its emotional charge would be--before I had even taken the journey. All authors commit such presumption, sometimes.)

So, let’s get to what they do tell you. Enjoy every minute.

We left the hospital one day earlier than recommended. We arrived home to my aunt’s house, greeted by a clean-sheeted welcomingly pulled-down bed. A baby photo album topped the bed, and inside the album, a simple card. It said: Enjoy every minute. Bawling, I tucked the card back into the album. I decided to pass this message on via every baby shower card I’ll ever write.

I think it may take a while to be able to enjoy every minute. Pain and sleep deprivation damper it all. Add hormonal cliffs, crying baby that you’re supposed to know how to soothe, insecurities, sensitivities, and holy ferociousness you’ve got yourself a hurricane on your hands.

And yet, no fancy rhyme could say it better. Enjoy every minute. Be there, then; be here, now. 

{enjoy, mama!}
Because babyhood really does happen as fast as they say it does. Baby’s papery skin plumps up. The downy hair (lanugo) on baby’s back disappears, like magic. That new baby scent fades. Diapers that swim on baby, too soon tighten. One by one, you transfer the onesies to storage. Meanwhile you grow with your baby. Ultimately some shimmerings can’t be captured a la list.


(Diane) Bibliophile By the Sea said...

Lovely photos and what you said is so very true. enjoy

OneCraftyFox said...

Wow, Rowan already looks so different from the first pic you ever posted!!

I don't have any children of my own, but I can completely understand how what you are writing is true.

xoxo Diana

Gracie said...

I hope you are enjoying mother hood. I do love reading your thoughts and feelings. I think I will try and enjoy every moment when the time comes. x

Hollie said...

what a sweet, simple yet thoughtful thing to write to a new parent. Sometimes its really easy to forget that our minutes are limited.

Micaela said...

he is SUCH A CUTIE!!!! oh heather, he's beautiful :)

give him hugs for me!!! and how i've missed you xo

kelli g. { bug miscellany } said...

you have me teary.

" holy ferociousness " what excellent words together.

you are one fine writer.

LyddieGal said...

Awww, so sweet! I hope you truly do get to enjoy every minute! (or at least as many as you possibly can!)

Chic on the Cheap

this free bird said...

I'm just gonna say it. I'm fighting a huge lump in my throat. He is most def having a look like you phase. I can still see S - but to me, in these pics, he's all you Heather.


:: Lavender's Green :: said...

This is so true. My sister had a little boy a little over six months ago. I had the joy of seeing him every day for the first four months and he changed every day! You really do need to enjoy every possible moment :)

Your little one is so cute!

x Jasmine

LatteLisa said...

Enjoy every minute ... love that.

If there really existed a manual the whole baby thing wouldn't be as much fun! And no child is the same so it's impossible to write one ;-)

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Great words of wisdom and oh how cute is he?

Chic 'n Cheap Living

Krystal said...

that advice is beautiful :) and that picture makes me smile!

Kristin H said...

YEs, to enjoy every minute. And especially with this little charmer!!
Have a wonderful day Heather!

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

He is SO CUTE! Oh my goodness!

Bella @Bellgetsreal said...

Rowan is a doll and Oh how I love the photos.
Here is my take on some of the things they didn't tell you. (its been 14 years since my baby was a baby but here I go anyways)
1. They will get hurt but all will be okay (hitting head, falling off couch, etc)
2. Give yourself a break. Not physically (which I recommend too) Don't expect to be perfect, your not.
3. The house does NOT need to be clean when guest arrive to visit the baby.
4. invest in a GREAT nursing bra
Thats all I have now. All the things above do help you enjoy the moments.

DolceDreams said...

I love it! Too too true...My ten year old is a mini man, I grab my 7 year old's little hands and kiss his little lips as often as I can, because, all too soon, they will be bigger ...and my babies will officially be gone. Enjoy the ride, savor the moments. Take long naps, before school and homework starts and you can't...
He is just ADORABLE!
Enjoy :)

Claire Kiefer said...

heehee that last picture is so cute. I need to get my hands on him pronto. It's been too long.

Film Rap- Movie Reviews by Michael and Susan said...

Gonna start following your blog! Love your insight and your photos. I don't miss the newborn stage although I think back on it fondly. I do wish I could have bottled that newborn smell.

koralee said...

Oh my friend..this is soooo true.Enjoy your sweet little one. oxo

Jen said...

Oh my goodness gracious. Rowan is just so sweet! I bet he smells like newborn/little baby freshy deliciousness, too.

Enjoy every minute indeed. :)

Kellie Collis said...

How adorable! Loving the "Enjoy every minute" - so true! Have a wonderful weekend, Kellie xx

Indie.Tea said...

Heather!!! Congratulations...I figured that you must have had baby already, but he got so big and so cute!


Related Posts with Thumbnails