dear soon to be mom.

Don’t worry too much about this labor deal. Even if it lasts three days, it’ll be over in a flash. You’re not crazy for trying to go natural. Your body, yes, was built for this birth thing. All you have to do is let it do. You know, shut that mind up; stop being so bossy and controlling. We control nothing in this universe. Perhaps just our decision to stop resisting it. Be present and let ourselves be in it. Don’t beat yourself up over not having learned this already. We all need little reminders, often.

It’s OK to say yes to help and ice cream. Breathe in fresh air. Bask in January's winter hot sun. It’s OK that you don’t have much of a plan for now. Your plans tend to change anyway. So just plan to make a plan when you can. 

{madrone by sheenjek}
You’ll get your stamina back and your body strong. You’ll have little time for naps, so enjoy them now. Those monster hiccups in the deep of your groin, that lengthening body and butt butting into your right-side ribs, knees poking out the left—you won’t feel any of that soon, so enjoy it now too. The mood swings and meltdowns are just more pregnancy annoyances to be accepted (and sometimes sincerely apologized for).

You are. Love—infinite, emanating. Not bottomless, because that implies a container. Not endless, because that motions a beginning. In your purest form, you are love. And love makes a good mama.

soon to be mom

on our california due date, two days past la fecha chilena 

what's been cookin'

If a space full of belly isn't your thing, this is definitely not the post for you. Even though I have been horribly disconnected since arriving back to the United States of "first-world" living, we have tried to make some time to continue our journey of belly shots.

Starting with a sunny cold day at the end of December.

{circa 36 weeks}
Then on to our tranquil New Year's Eve spent with my sweetheart and dear friend Claire. The dress I'm wearing is Black Halo, designed by my cousin's talented wife Laurel. A Pea in the Pod contacted them to transform a couple of their designs for maternity wear, and here I am, lucky recipient of this gorgeous dress, just in time!

{circa 37 weeks}
In other news, baby turned and is positioned head down and happily (I assume) in my pelvis. The birth center here extended my due date by two days to January 22. (Could be any day now!) Belly has dropped, contrary to how high it may still appear.

{circa 38 weeks}
S and I aim for hour-long, mildly hilly walks just about every day, though I'm getting more and more tired. Today's was a short walk to the coffee shop to steal some wifi time, the fruits of which are this blog entry and me browsing through this past month's photos.

{a summery 39 weeks : heather, can you look at me instead of your belly?}
After much apartment hunting, wearing ourselves down and actually applying for one apartment, we decided to stay at my aunt's house. Admittedly there have been times here I felt rather crazy and a little dumb for moving so late in pregnancy with nary a plan. Purposely making this time of transition even more transitive. But truly I feel entirely lucky to be here. The care we receive from the birth center is more attuned to what I wanted (and imagined for my birthing process), and of course the care from my family. You can't really argue against the benefits of a loving, supportive environment.

Thank you.

happy 2011!

This morning, I hovered over the sink and slurped the pink juice from sliced grapefruit rinds. My fingers grew bitter sticky and my lips tingled a little. I thought about the many times S and I have devoured fruit, dripping over the sink together. But mostly these surreptitious slurping frenzies happen when I'm alone. Preparing pineapple or mango, teething at a spiky husk or chewing on a fibrous hull. This might be my favorite part of fruit, kinda like licking clean the cookie dough beater.

{photo by wtl photos}
This Eckhart Tolle (paraphrased) quote echoed across the moment: Our minds make the world seem more serious than it is. And isn't that the truth? In all the bustle of moving, my seeming inability to make any decisions, baby growing and acclimating to our new home, I have forgotten to have fun. Take it easy. Laugh. Remember: laughter. There's no better tension reliever. 

I thought about how much your comments and kindness mean to me. I have been absent from your blog worlds lately, and I miss you. Sometimes it's the little things, the sweetness of a stranger turned friend, that gets us through the day. Some words of wisdom reread at the appropriate time. We don't have wifi at home, so aside from swimming in lamentably unanswered emails, I'm pretty much lost to blogland at the moment. So, I'm stuck with brief updates and out-of-touchedness for the moment. But I do want to send you all beautiful wishes and vibes for 2011.

May your year be full of laughter.


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