fat, happy mailbox: thank you.

Just one little day, and so much joy. Today I received so much goodness in the mail. First, a package from Dani at I'm Just That Way + That's Just Me--part of an exchange from The Claw's Fall Swap. Thoughtful Dani put so much care in putting the package together. There are bits of autumn, goodness from her neck of the woods (delicious cherry preserves and death by chocolate fudge), as well as some sweetness for our upcoming adventures (hello there, pretty San Francisco map, baby booties + h stationery to keep in touch).

{thank you, sweet dani!}

And the booties are in good company with these yellow beauties (and cutiepie baby stickers) I received at the end of last week (just because) from Micaela at Dolce Vita.

{thank you beautiful micaela!!!}

Little did Micaela know that my auntie knitted baby a yellow blanket, with all the joy and happiness that yellow brings. Here's a picture she sent to me a while back, unsure whether to send it to us or hope and wait.

{incidentally, both hope + wait are esperar in Spanish}

While I was away, the mailman came and left a slip on the door. To my surprise, there were two more packages at the post office. I'm enjoying a bit of a lucky streak (a happy counter the fact that I've been dropping or spilling almost everything I touch for the last couple days).

Packages were from two giveaways. This vintage floral clutch from Yellow Birdd Vintage, from a giveaway hosted by Lynzy at From Skirts to Skillets.

{thank you lynzy + yellow birdd!}

And these (beautifully packaged) plum blossom earrings from Sunny + Delilah, from a giveaway hosted by Laura of Bright, Bold + Beautiful.

{thank you laura + sunny + delilah}

Deepest heartfelt thank you to all the lovely people in my life!

You have until Friday, 10/29, to enter my giveaway here.

a quiet conversation.

Our snaky U-turn of plans has kept my mind pretty active, so I've been a little absent. All the posts I plan to write slip a little deeper into the void. Who will shine their light on them there?

{just imagine : "imagination is more important than knowledge"}

Yesterday I delivered six kilos of jam to a friend in distress. A worried mother handed me the too-heavy bag, pleaing with her eyes. One jar broke in our bags on the trip. Tomorrow, a worried mother travels here from Santiago to help daughter get back on her feet. In the quiet of an upturned apartment, she looked for something to give me. We flipped through a photocopied book of ayurvedic remedies in English. She prepared me a small jar of coconut oil to ward off stretch marks. Finally settling on a pen (pluma) she created out of feather quills (plumas) during our difficult winter, where she hardly slept. Of course I should give you a pen; you're a writer, she says, of course! No one ever really knows the distress of another, until the worst is over or until it blankets us with its hot chill weight.

Over breakfast, S laughs at how I fill our cereal bowls. Brimming. I say the bowls are so small, and I like to see the milk rim the fruit. He points out that I pour everything that way: water, juice, beer, coffee, tea, the ice cube tray. No wonder I spill a little constantly. We've found another way to define humanity: those who pour full and those who leave a little space. Still, the tambourines play for everybody.

{peaceful understanding : "peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding"}

When one of my best friends here calls and S answers, the first thing she might say to me on the phone is how difficult he is to understand. When he tells me she's called, he too mentions how difficult she is to understand. One of my jobs teaching English classes (and--it seems--as a human being) is to help people feel understood. Now to remember to include myself in that little equation.

{photos by J. P. McAdie from her awesome set according to einstein; quoted thoughts are einstein's}

getting ready to move.

{untitled by picassoswoman}

We had our first taste of boredom yesterday. Even though I was pretty busy running about, every time I returned to our house, an uneasy wave of boring bore into me. This is coming from someone, who generally scolds people for saying they're bored. I mean, there are SO many things to do! I'm in the middle of about three "projects" now, not to mention the mail I mean to post, books to read, desserts to bake. But yesterday kissed us with a spell of... what was it exactly?... a combination of not wanting to do anything, restlessness, boredom. Are we that ready to leave?

As I write this, S is looking up what our internet speed will be in California. Currently we pay more than $80/month for a snaily 0.4 Mb, which cuts out intermittently (aka regularly). We just got back from our typically sad market of wilted greens and rotting fruits--for which we also pay too much. So S also searches how much groceries cost at Trader Joe's. It's a little crazy how much we love grocery shopping together. TJ's, among other markets, is me being a happy kid in a candy shop.

I thought I would be more nostalgic thinking of our last six weeks here. And I do feel so. When I talk to certain people, I know I will miss parts of being here. Some people. The mountains. My yoga teacher. The lazy relaxed lifestyle. (You can't live here if you want to get something done, fast--it'd drive you batty!) Living off the grid in our own little way + checking out of the bigger world... (I'm not political here, sometimes I barely know what's even happening in the world out there. And--here--I don't feel the slightest tinge of guilt about having checked out so thoroughly. I guess the things that concern me most these days have to do with third world recycling aka lack thereof and decrepit street dogs.)

{wondering what i was in for in 2007}

But I won't miss the horrid customer service, the hurricane winds + and inhospitable weather, the garbage the filth, the barking street dogs + poor diseased puppies (enough to make the hardest-hearted sniffle--so many of my foreign friends have taken in crazy numbers of strays), the propineros in the market who assault you with their plastic bags despite your protestations (and then you give them coins for this), the food and lack of food choices. I find myself saying way too many times a day: in California this... or in the States that... And yes, all this does make me shake my head at myself!

Don't get me wrong, there have been so many amazing moments and life changes that occurred here, living "at the end of the world." (Most notably we found each other. A beginning--not so much the end.)

{our happy beginning : torres del paine}

I'm sure our last days here will compel me to dive in and write about some of the heart's serpentine journey. For now, knowing that we are almost finished enduring everything we've chose to endure by living here... whew, it's incredibly freeing!

Do you have an ambiguous relationship with where you live?

friday present: a little news.

It's probably pretty obvious what I'm most thankful for this week...

you guys!

{flowers for you by dalobeee}

Thank you so much for your beautiful words and support. Truly. Your kindness is catchy, and it feels so good to be infected by it!


(visa) stamps of approval. 

{smile by aftab.}

Yep, after dancing among ink cartridges + paperclips, paper reams + photo copies, S got his U.S. visa. We're happy, we're excited.

so many pros.

{if it starts to sound ugly, write it in italian : photo by desi}

After a lot of talking and pussyfooting around decisions, we finally sat down to make that list I've been talking about making for months: Should we stay or should we go now (guitar riffing in background). Over lattes and hearty sandwiches, we listed the costs of having baby here vs. in the States, the bright sides of both places. It seemed an especially negative time for poor Chile, at least on our list. But for the seasons! It's just barely turning into spring here, with 18 hours of daylight just around the corner. We narrowly survived Patagonia's brutal winter. Back to short days and another winter so soon? Gulp. Of course Patagonian summer isn't exactly anyone's idea of summer. wind wind, hurricane wind, rain, hail, sun. wind um yeah.


Talks with family and friends made the list even more lopsided, leaning into blowing this pop stand called Patagonia and heading for more hospitable lands.

finding an awesome cafe to couch out. 

{via}

Today, we had to leave our rented abode in Santiago at noon, but our flight isn't until 1.30 a.m. We dropped our luggage at Estación Central's custodia, and lugged our computers around the metros in search of someplace to catch up... for hours. Abarzua with good chill music on good big speakers with the volume up, fast internet, laughing Buddha lamps, sofas, power sockets. Just what I needed. (You have no idea what a treat good music on better-than-passable speakers is here!)

heartening doses of decisiveness.

{moving again, it's all happening so fast : photo by chris darling}

After lots of soul searching, list making and giggling, we decided that we are indecisive. That we tend to prolong the inevitable. We will have to pick up and start over together pre- or post-baby (S only has six months to enter the States or his visa is null). Of course traveling 30 hours with an infant and trying to organize ourselves post-newborn is harder than trying to get at least a little settled pre-baby. That's why we just bought our flights to San Francisco. I still can't even believe it! We will be "home" for Christmas, and sheesh, it chokes me up just to write that. Off to go find me a tissue, again.

guess what?

Last night, car horns honked, firecrackers went off, people screamed in the streets. Not because of our visa, but because all 33 Chilean miners were finally rescued--after 69 days! We saw several of the emotional resurfacings on CNN, while waiting for our interview in an eerily quiet embassy.

In other news, the embassy did approve Serkan's visa! (...after charging us twice what they said they would, good ole money like water. friends, this is not a cheap process!) He left his passport and DHL will deliver it to us in the next 2-3 weeks.

{photo by david avigdor madmoun}

Today Comer, Rezar, Amar (Eat, Pray, Love) is finally out, so we're heading to have ourselves a little popcorn matinee now. I can't remember when I last went to a matinee, maybe a decade ago! When was your last matinee movie?