tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38422190671002934402024-03-14T05:34:23.296-03:00a measure of...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger281125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-72659739094974139552015-06-01T19:30:00.000-03:002015-06-01T19:30:31.099-03:00motherhood.
A few night's S+ I sat with our backs against the couch in the living room as the sun set. Rowan was sleeping. The light blurred from yellow to purple to dark, and I lit a a tiny trayful of candles. The room and my hands still smelled clean and sweet from Rowan's bath and massage. We weren't ready to turn on the light. Outside, the palms and sweetgums blackened. I thought about how--even though Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-82444811930399585062015-06-01T18:47:00.000-03:002015-06-01T18:47:11.612-03:00around the sun.
It’s a time of great change for our family, and I’m looking at it as a new leaf for me as I celebrate my life. Which is to say, I enjoy a birthday right after Linden.
A year has zoomed by, and suddenly my baby is near toddling. It’s apropos that airplanes are Rowan’s favorite thing to draw right now (and for the past several months). For my birthday, he drew me airplanes. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-29121645738134396562015-05-26T19:13:00.002-03:002015-06-01T18:48:24.994-03:00one year.
Dear Linden,
Last night in the wee hours while I lay restless, you deep asleep on a separate pillow. From that distance I could still breathe in your sweetness, less sweaty tonight and more sweet. I thought about how I wished I’d planned a birthday party for you, I should have made you a doll, how I read more books with your brother. How I still read more books with your brother. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-61550958323172485162014-09-06T17:24:00.003-04:002015-06-02T16:00:22.617-03:00Linden Sol’s Birth Story - May 26, 2014
Getting There: The
Prologue
This could start with: Contractions started at 4:27 in the
morning. But it really begins with the birth of Rowan Sky, my firstborn, my
teacher, crazymaker, joy; and our cesarean birth. The short of which is this:
Serkan and I moved to the USA from Chile when I was 7.5 months pregnant. We
didn’t have our own space, and stayed with my aunt. Much was up Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-75430666194325738852013-06-26T02:32:00.000-04:002015-06-02T16:00:44.920-03:00Dear Rowan: I am always here and there.
Tonight you asked for daddy to take you to bed. That means I
won't be seeing you guys again until I silent myself into bed with you. I'll
scoot you to the middle to make space for me. And even though I'll be way too
tired, I'll stretch the headlamp over my head and read one of the books on the
floor next to the bed. Right now I think I know which book that will be. But by
the laterUnknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-64527087629514262872012-07-03T13:21:00.003-04:002015-06-01T19:56:21.528-03:00our little talker.
{santa barbara :: montaña del oro}
Rowan, you're a runner and a good listener. You're helping to make
mama a better listener too. Your first word was actually a sentence 'ooh dis' (meaning what's this?) around 15 months. Your first signs were more and milk,
but it's so hard to remember when we knew you were making your version
of these signs. 9 or 10 months? You still make the milk sign Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-19931071350526162682012-06-21T01:35:00.002-04:002015-06-01T19:27:43.926-03:00life. and mama's milestones.
{bits of montaña de oro, car camping, after extending s's passport so we can go to turkey (and india for my work) in august}
oh what can i say. and where do i start? today i'm weary of capital letters, and as i write it i realize i spent my formative years in such a state--its rightly quiet flurry. damned if i could now order my smudges of memory on a timeline.
blogging was going toUnknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-59562040525426236742012-05-05T02:23:00.001-04:002015-06-01T20:29:36.145-03:00role modeling.
Tonight toward the end of putting Rowan to bed, as thought sought after thought, I worried: Everything I can do for this little boy has to do with modeling. Somehow the better human being I am, the better being he'll become. Model good eating and outdoor habits, calm, attention. Oh no, but today I didn't model anything crafty. I didn't write in my journal (which I have never ever managed to Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-69329070990417389012012-04-27T01:11:00.000-03:002015-06-02T15:58:20.027-03:00hello, toddlerhood.
Dear Rowan,
Welcome to toddlerhood. I bet nobody ever actually says that to a toddler. That welcome is saved for said tot's parents.
For a year people have been saying, it will get better, it will be so much more fun. And I usually thought, but it's not so bad now. However, what they say is true. This is a really fun age. The blooms of communication are so tangible between us, it's like I Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-43477462011705914492012-04-12T02:01:00.003-03:002012-04-12T02:01:36.894-03:00shades of green.
"A mountain keeps an echo deep inside itself.
that's how I hold your voice."
- Rumi
Friends, I wish you are well. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-37292058704884809532012-04-02T02:11:00.001-03:002015-06-01T20:27:20.071-03:00the way we grow.
{almirante nieto, torres del paine}
It's so fascinating to watch a little one grow. It is relearning wonder as the new person you have become. Remembering to play. To trust. To encourage: yourself and each other. Some days it's a 'pull your hair out' good time. But love. Love is the easy part. When you hear that laugh, the baby babble, first words and sentences ooo what's this?, witness the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-16304922158200369972012-03-22T02:59:00.000-03:002015-06-01T20:27:55.739-03:00they call it a laundry list, because it needs to be cleaned.
There are essays running untamed through my hair. I'm non sequiturs and full of spine. Rowan's been walking for about a week. It's still funny to look over and see my tall little boy or put him down on his feet rather than his bottom.
We may be seriously on the prowl to purchase a house. I'm supposed to be getting paperwork together for a preapproval now. But as you can see, I Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-41136638737911533442012-03-14T02:46:00.002-03:002015-06-02T16:05:13.331-03:00a bit of lately.
1} when life gives you clementines, smile :: 2} chain-linked fence :: 3} tobias, king of the surrey ::
4} round earth :: 5} on the way to lover's point, monterey, ca :: 6} a bite of bright
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-5090715878124400742012-03-06T03:32:00.000-03:002015-06-01T20:26:27.576-03:00if i knew the way, i would take you home.
Hi. I'm behind with my life. How do you feel?
This weekend it was so warm, we tried to spend most of it at the beach nearby. Sunday evening I ate an ice cream cone the size of Rowan's head (almost).
My husband just asked me to turn down my laughter. We're watching The Music Never Stopped, and it reminds me to ask myself: Do you feel connected? It also reminds me that I need to Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-23464243237889087122012-02-27T03:36:00.002-03:002012-02-27T03:36:54.251-03:00separating water.
{zipper art via pinterest}
Now that I'm not near Rowan during the weekdays, I've taken to bringing him into the shower with me. When he was a baby and S wasn't there, I'd set Rowan outside the shower in his bouncer and sing to him from inside. When Rowan got too big for the bouncer, I could still bring him into the bathroom with me; he'd play for a very short time before starting to swat the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-87963440889953937532012-02-23T01:42:00.003-03:002012-02-23T01:42:26.208-03:00hair story.
Self-Portrait With Cropped Hair by Frida
I have a confession to make. I don't shave. After living abroad I stopped and started epilating. I learned (mistakenly or no) that pretty much only American women shave their legs. Yes, epilating hurts, but the more you do it the less it feels like pain. You never get that five o'clock shadow of spikiness and it lasts for weeks. Well, hair grows in Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-7385995415602896462012-02-19T03:04:00.000-03:002015-06-01T19:55:21.306-03:00eight days a week.
I'm thoroughly enjoying my family after hardly seeing them all week. Today we relaxed, ate eggs for breakfast, and went for an afternoon hike where we discovered a grove of cairns and a labyrinth, the first of the wild irises, and rainbow serpentine.
It was a good first week, though I finally experienced the pain of a plugged duct. Oh heavenly ouch! Next week I'll continue to get Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-2106290249854752332012-02-13T04:03:00.001-03:002015-06-01T19:56:31.632-03:00a soapy mess.
recovering from a lovely dinner, game, and wine night with friends strolling the Palace of Fine Arts in grey, windy weather // first shoots of spring
When we got home from San Francisco this evening, I decided to do some laundry. I left a bagful of dirty clothes and our huge container of Costco detergent by the door while I went to grab a sweatshirt to go outside. Can you tell Unknownnoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-18172191018093063882012-02-09T03:37:00.000-03:002012-02-09T03:37:33.885-03:00learning to fly.
the journey: that's a whole lotta hormones to stabilize // reminiscing at six months
So I was reading this article about how it basically takes nine months to birth a mother. I'd never thought about it like that before, but in hindsight it makes so much sense. Sure, around six months I started to feel like things were getting easier, but at nine months I started feeling like, yeah, the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-88292309226088333232012-02-08T15:25:00.000-03:002015-06-01T20:07:23.517-03:00in a family state of mind.
I wrote a full blog last night, Firefox crashed, and none of it saved. It's definitely time for me to change browsers. Sigh la vie.
It's been a rough couple of weeks with a feverish baby, who needed antibiotics and then broke out with a full body rash allergic reaction to said antibiotics. Then I caught the bug. Add teething, familial sleeplessness, and some odd behaviors that can likelyUnknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-33256710661074934132012-01-27T20:09:00.000-03:002015-06-02T16:01:40.528-03:00happy birthday, my little heart melter!
Dear Rowan Skye,
Today you are one. I can't believe that you can reach the third shelf of the bookcase, that you take baby steps all by yourself when you're not thinking about it. I can't believe you've been with us for a whole year. I can't believe you've been with us only one year. How can you be so new and so forever at the same time? You'll surely hear me talk about the exquisite Unknownnoreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-34563931814106369852012-01-18T04:50:00.001-03:002015-06-02T16:02:08.870-03:00nice surprises.
This is the photo we used on Rowan's birthday party invitation. I had big intentions of printing invitations, but time was running out, so I just sent an Evite. Also, because I couldn't find a recent picture of him that I was happy with on account of its clarity.
But the more I look at this photograph, the more I love it. You can see all six of his teeth. And he has that smile he has right Unknownnoreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-49047687820531743672012-01-16T20:39:00.000-03:002015-06-01T19:28:08.627-03:00this insular life.
You know what they say you should do when you don't know what to write about? Just give thanks. I guess that's about all I do on this here blog anyway.
So here it is. I'm thanking my lucky stars for...
my baby :: who is currently caressing a huge box full of speakers. He's palming the box and sliding up and down it while chanting oooweeoi oooweeoi oooweeoi, like it's giving him Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-87223089632246817742012-01-09T03:32:00.000-03:002015-06-01T19:44:59.283-03:00happy new year, hello to you.
The
day after Christmas we visited my dad, stepmom, and brother in northern
Wisconsin. (It's the first time my dad met S or his grandson.) They
live on the outskirts of a tiny one-horse town with one stoplight, one
Piggly Wiggly, and an ice cream store called Phat Ice Cream with a fat
sign featuring a blissed-out pig diving into a triple cone.
This
is where life isUnknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3842219067100293440.post-64590376651886130652011-12-25T17:13:00.000-03:002015-06-01T20:09:49.611-03:00give your people smiles.
Today we're celebrating our first Christmas with a baby, only he's 11 months old and baby hardly seems to describe Rowan anymore. He feeds himself food, climbs, flirts, elates in the ladies' smiles, problem solves, kicks and screams during diaper changes, throws himself on the floor in elaborate dramatic schemes, reaches high things on his tippy toes, reminds me of the pristine Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10