Now that I'm not near Rowan during the weekdays, I've taken to bringing him into the shower with me. When he was a baby and S wasn't there, I'd set Rowan outside the shower in his bouncer and sing to him from inside. When Rowan got too big for the bouncer, I could still bring him into the bathroom with me; he'd play for a very short time before starting to swat the water inside the toilet or pull open the shower curtain.
For a while, I finished up my showers by filling the bath and calling for S to bring Rowan to me. Now I just sit the boy down in the tub while I shower. This evening while we were doing just that, it hit me: How exquisite it is that we are so together and yet so apart. Closeness, like reading with your spouse or writing with a friend.
I washed my hair, brushed my teeth, and daydreamed. (I know, I know. I don't take short showers, but I do recycle and do a bunch of other things to reduce waste.) Rowan played with his toys (those attached to his body and not). He clapped the stacking cups together, attempted stacking, squeezed the happy-faced bath fauna, and babble-talked whenever the mood struck. When he looked up at me with his wide eyes, I couldn't stop thinking: You are my little angel.
It's not that I don't still like to take a shower alone every now and again. But I also cherish these quiet moments we share, where we are wholly submerged in the now.
Around this time (12-18 months), babies hit the separation anxiety stage. They're realizing that "mommy and me aren't one. We are separate." It's one of the baby milestones, but I don't think it's happening to Rowan all by himself. I wonder if all moms stumble through the same realization with their babies at some point. We are so together, yet so apart.
Mamas, how did you juggle showering with your infants?