a letter to husband.

After this little conversation between S + me, I remembered that I had written him a blog letter. I intended to post said letter after my dear soon to be mom post a while back. We didn't have internet back then though, and let's just say there was a lot going on. 

So here's a letter for you, S, back when we were still two, before we were three...

Dear Soon to Be Dad,

Three or four months pregnant is ages ago. We'd just bought a car in Patagonia and took it car camping to Laguna Azul right outside Torres del Paine. A bitter cold yet winter windless day with a glass clear lake reflecting the Towers and Paine Massif. You snapped my first belly shots there, the ones we've laughed about the past couple months, because it really didn’t count as a belly. 

{laguna azul, torres del paine :: patagonia, chile :: 17 weeks pregnant}

We built a fire to cook our food and warm ourselves. We sat huddled around it and each other. My shoes nearly melted in the flame. The Cruz del Sur, an upside-down Orion and impossible worlds of light reflected in our eyes. A bifocal of stars and fire; una estrella fugaz. When the fire died down, we snuggled in the tent and watched a movie on your computer. Such backpacker decadence.

A handful of months later we took our last road trip to Estancia Lazo on another glowing day. We were completely alone apart from a corral of horses. Me in my loosest hiking pants and a bellaband to hold up those unbuttoned trousers. I snapped photos of you cowboying it up on the gas canister toro for turistas. We made what you called baby's (third or fourth?) baby summit. We picnicked in the strong sun--warm enough to kick off our shoes and enjoy some naked feet time.

Winter wasn't easy. The first trimester emotions and end of the world solitude. That cold, dark house. Then the lightening of the second trimester hit and we moved to a better, insulated-at-least-for-Patagonia house. I wouldn’t change any of it.

Being able to spend all that time together would have driven most people crazy. Maybe it did drive us a little mad too. But then I think of how soon our life will quicken and how we'll probably miss our quiet time. I'm thankful for every minute we've spent together, for your come-to-the-rescue pep talks, how you remind me to breathe. That you're my best friend and birth partner, soon to be dad of our soon to be born baby.

If I have to live through a whole year of winters, thank goodness I get to live them with you. We've reached 40 weeks of pregnancy together. We'll hold those little feet that have been kicking us soon. To say that you will be an amazing father is just words. We'll fall in love again as a threesome. Reflected in this person that we've created together.

We made a person: Really, how crazy is that?

Love,

Soon to be mom

{and, yeah, you are an excellent papa}