an anniversary.

It's our one-year anniversary of living back in the States. While I would thoroughly miss my friends and family if we weren't here, I find myself wondering why we are here. Not in an existential crisis sort of way, but in a 'life is really expensive and complicated here' sort of way.

All is right with the world if I'm feeling the usual pull.
  • Part of me wishes I was wearing my trekking boots, breaking to patch blisters in howling gales while my fingers turn all icicly. To feel the walk-faster glee of pushing to a peak and, slowly not all at once, seeing what's beyond the lowering horizon. I'd be lugging the extra weight of a book, a journal, and the journey's rocks piling up.
  • The other part wants to buys a sewing machine and make Rowan's clothes. Knit all the Christmas presents and adorn the packages with holly berries and redwood sprigs. To be the girl with glue guns and the roots of place. 
{but this could be nice gift :: glitzglitter}
The reality is I can barely motivate myself to leave the house for a 30-minute run. I might say I'm in a rut, but the truth is I'm living on air. I'm teaching Rowan to raise his hands up to the sky whenever I say Hallelujah! When he does it, he does it like Superman. And it's impossible for us not to smile.

16 comments:

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

Happy anniversary to you both. It's good to miss where one has been but even better to adore where one is at present - sometimes it's hard to balance. Have a nice weekend;-)

Hollie said...

other countries allow roots, you know. :]

shopgirl said...

When I read this post I really connected to everything you wrote Heather. I question myself often why I'm living here and what could be if we moved to another part of Europe or Canada....However, I know from experience that changing places geographically doesn't always mean things will be different or even better. I try to just accept that my heart knows and I need to listen to it.

p.s. and thank you so much for your kind words. It keeps me motivated to continue. I complain about not having enough time but I don't even have a child so I don't even know what less time I would have.

Wishing you a joyous weekend with your family!

Reese
http://rambleswithreese.etsy.com
http://rambleswithreese.blogspot.com

Nuit said...

happy anniversary :)

georgia~gigi said...

aw, you gave me goosebumps!
I think you are just awesome! You have such a wonderful outlook on life and are teaching your son to be awesome too!
You'll get out of your rut, I am certain of that!
Happy Ann. and Happy Weekend~
Lots of love
gi gi

Claire Kiefer said...

How lucky am I that I got to spend your anniversary with you, Serkan, and Rowan? Rowan is cuter than ever. I love you all!

OneCraftyFox said...

Heather, you are the most connected individual I have ever met, and when you write I can completely visualize it. I love that you are nostalgic and appreciate every moment you have experienced and are currently living in. You. Are. Wonderful.

Little Superman Rowan must look terribly cute :)

Di said...

Wow - a year passes quickly! It is good to have roots but also a little wanderlust.....and you can have both....wherever you are....you never forget your roots and that allows your leaves to grow onwards and upwards.....

Dani G said...

wow! that went by quickly!
Happy anniversary :)

Lady Grey said...

I feel torn like that often too. I guess that's pretty normal ; )
Planning a travel vacation always helps me (even if it's way off in the future).
xo

Bella @Bellgetsreal said...

When we moved back from the island it was a huge adjustment to make. Life seems to move so much faster in the states. Although I missed my friends and families and life's little conveniences it was hard to get back to the pace that goes with it. Glad you are smiling at the small things. As long as you take time out for those small moments you should be just fine. Happy Anniversary

Kristin H said...

That is sweet. Christmas time with kids are just the most amazing I can think of. We are having such a lovely time right now:)
But, go for a run... it is always refreshing...says I who am at home with a cold...

rach. said...

happy aniversery!

Punctuation Mark said...

Happy anniversary and wishing you many more!!!

honey my heart said...

happy anniversary :)

LatteLisa said...

Has it already been one year in the States? That probably means that Rowan is turning 1 y.o. pretty soon!

I like to keep my options open. Maybe I'll stay here forever, maybe not. Who knows? ;-) In the meantime, home is where the heart is.

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